Monday, April 02, 2007

Blog Closure

This blog, and the blog from which it is a spin-off, The World As I See It, are now closed.

All future blogs and thoughts are available here: www.myspace.com/matthewdavidward.

Peace.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Random Thought #20

What would I do if, one morning, I walked up to look in the mirror and I wasn't there?

Random Thought #19

When is somebody going to offer to buy me dinner?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Random Idea #20

I think it would be cool if someone opened a business that had a giant sign out front saying: FREE MONEY!! -- But the people who enter... they never come out. It'd help rid the world of some of the less than necessary people.

Don't look at me like that. It's a good idea.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Random Thought #18

So here's how I figure it: In 2007 I could get hit by a very large truck and slammed into a glass building just to be thrown back out by an explosion causing me to land in a pile of razors rejected from the razor factory (because they are too sharp) and as I lay there screaming I am poked with various lawn care instruments by a bunch of prejudice hillbillies looking for dinner... And it would be the best year since 1997. Rock on!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Random Thought #17: Ass IQ

What is up with defining the intelligence of our ass? I mean... There's the dumbass, which I assume is bad. Then people call others a smartass (I get this a lot). But it seems like they use this as a bad thing as well. So even if my ass is smart or dumb it's still a bad thing?

I don't know about you, but I don't think my ass has an intelligence level. It's just a bunch of fat. A very big bunch, true...

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Random Idea #19

You know how people say that so-and-so is such a great singer they could sing the phone book and it would be a hit? Someone should actually get one of these singers to sing the phone book and let these people who spread these stupid sayings shove that in their hat and smoke it... Or, light that and call it macaroni... Or... something. I forgot what I was talking about.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Random Idea #18

I think they should do a new version of The Cosby Show where Cliff is a garbage man, Claire is a maid, Theo is a drug dealer and the little girls are little prostitutes.

And, I think the Brady Bunch should be remade to where all the kids are a violent gang. And they could have a crossover episode with the Partridge Family and there could be a shootout. Florence Henderson and Shirley Jones could beat the shit out of each other in the background.

Random Thought #16: Carpenters

When I was younger I thought Jesus was the male member of the music group the Carpenters. And that Karen Carpenter was his sister. Everyone would say Jesus was a Carpenter... I just assumed.

Now I know better. Jesus is Mary Chapin Carpenter's husband.